You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
