its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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