How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
