I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is it penis luge time yet?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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