I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
