He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
