My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
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So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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