wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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