You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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