Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
