he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
