my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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