1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
