ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
