Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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