I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
