He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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