At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
