You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
