1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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