32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
