You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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