when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
