with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize