that's an acceptable place to lick
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
