come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
