East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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