Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
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So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.