stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again