Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.

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  (805): just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/ly75
  Replies (7) Good night (6422) Bad night (1187)
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  (909): View more from California

  Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.

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  (909): Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle. http://tfl.nu/fgdn
  Replies (16) Good night (4437) Bad night (751)
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  (315): View more from New York

  can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...

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  (315): can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits... http://tfl.nu/8lcs
  Replies (7) Good night (653) Bad night (4152)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

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  (+44): Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/nkcl
  Replies (8) Good night (955) Bad night (5551)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".

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  (785): Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur". http://tfl.nu/3gb4
  Replies (8) Good night (2409) Bad night (835)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.

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  (806): I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you. http://tfl.nu/8w6h
  Replies (12) Good night (3277) Bad night (850)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.

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  (248): What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy. http://tfl.nu/0mlh
  Replies (14) Good night (2277) Bad night (874)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  ...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.

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  (203): ...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus. http://tfl.nu/rgdm
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (358)
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  (408): View more from California

  Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.

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  (408): Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA. http://tfl.nu/jstd
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (246)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.

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  (304): Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast. http://tfl.nu/j3y3
  Replies (0) Good night (1143) Bad night (238)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.

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  (202): Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT. http://tfl.nu/f3qw
  Replies (4) Good night (1062) Bad night (314)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment

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  (303): that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment http://tfl.nu/t2of
  Replies (3) Good night (481) Bad night (255)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.

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  (423): Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days. http://tfl.nu/aq3h
  Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (164)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.

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  (828): did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over. http://tfl.nu/37bx
  Replies (2) Good night (273) Bad night (686)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.

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  (817): No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk. http://tfl.nu/z5k9
  Replies (0) Good night (166) Bad night (453)

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