Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

But there's never enough margarita money.

(1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it

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(256): View more from Alabama

According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.

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