Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah

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  (650): Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah http://tfl.nu/pdwe
  Replies (2) Good night (1775) Bad night (769)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable

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  (586): the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable http://tfl.nu/6hw3
  Replies (32) Good night (1375) Bad night (1984)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.

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  (201): i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness. http://tfl.nu/zg7h
  Replies (5) Good night (1240) Bad night (636)
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  (408): View more from California

  ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me

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  (408): ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me http://tfl.nu/23c1
  Replies (18) Good night (1517) Bad night (6428)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."

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  (330): Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy." http://tfl.nu/8mx4
  Replies (15) Good night (3736) Bad night (1001)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.

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  (440): I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise. http://tfl.nu/okxz
  Replies (13) Good night (5574) Bad night (1314)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.

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  (717): She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer. http://tfl.nu/9691
  Replies (7) Good night (3837) Bad night (1044)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

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  (416): Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment. http://tfl.nu/mdg4
  Replies (9) Good night (8429) Bad night (1124)
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  (631): View more from New York

  judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.

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  (631): judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way. http://tfl.nu/a0to
  Replies (2) Good night (2850) Bad night (938)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.

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  (816): i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else. http://tfl.nu/65tn
  Replies (1) Good night (1191) Bad night (3011)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day

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  (773): Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day http://tfl.nu/fpi9
  Replies (5) Good night (903) Bad night (1609)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...

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  (919): Why is there a condom in the dishwasher... http://tfl.nu/a7l1
  Replies (20) Good night (879) Bad night (1270)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show

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  (404): Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show http://tfl.nu/4xxy
  Replies (3) Good night (647) Bad night (325)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.

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  (605): I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong. http://tfl.nu/x9eb
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (355)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how don't worse things happen to you?

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  (306): and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say... (1-306): how don't worse things happen to you? http://tfl.nu/atvw
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (240)

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