dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
