I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
