so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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