I have demons in me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
