I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize