how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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