dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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