it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
