Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
