I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize