Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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