She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
