I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
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