Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you didnt know i had herpes?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
