these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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