Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
