just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
