My brain says no but my pants say off.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
