p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
