Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
