yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
