well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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