he looks like a really good dad on facebook
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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