I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
