I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
