I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
