you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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