well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
