where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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