so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
