Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
