I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
