I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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